a feature screenplay
by Cynthia Troyer
A newlywed couple honeymoon in Niagara Falls, obstacle after obstacle turn it into a trip to hell. Can the marriage survive the honeymoon?
Larry and Jessica Taylor have a storybook wedding and embark on their honeymoon to picturesque Niagara Falls — the honeymoon capital of the world. The journey turns out to be a trip to hell from the beginning — what can go wrong will go wrong. The Taylors carefully planned dream honeymoon turns into a nightmare which features among other misadventures: a honeymoon planner who turns out to be a con man, a hellish encounter with border patrol, a ride over the Falls in giant rubber fishing pants, and some jail time. Can the marriage survive the honeymoon?
Following their storybook wedding Larry and Jessica Taylor prepare to embark on their honeymoon. Carrying Jessica over the threshold, Larry trips, slams Jessica against the door jamb, giving her a nasty black eye. This proves to be the first of many misadventures to come.
While driving to Niagara Falls, their bad luck is just beginning as they have a car accident in the cow pastures of Ohio. Upon crossing the border into Canada, Larry and Jessica fall victim to an enthusiastic border examination, and finally get to their hotel.
Larry has hired a flamboyant honeymoon planner (Stephen) to make sure they don’t miss any of what Niagara has to offer, and they are graciously received by the hotel staff and serenaded by violinists.
The honeymoon turns romantic finally, until Larry and Jessica encounter an older couple, Howard and Beatrice Hardy who are celebrating their 55th anniversary and seem to appear everywhere they go. It turns out that Howard is a Canadian Mountie and he is following Larry to solve the border incident.
Revealing himself to be a con man, Stephen learns of Jessica’s family money, and he sets off down a path to break up the honeymooners. He plays up Jessica’s black eye, convinced it is evidence of spousal abuse he befriends her and uses it for leverage to drive a wedge between the Taylors.
Stephen’s meddling reaches a crescendo as he makes Jessica believe that Larry’s been married before and has abandoned his wife and two children.
The honeymoon is over and a despondent Larry must pick himself out of his depression and win back the woman of his dreams — his own wife.
Being a huge fan of 1970’s comedies like “The Out-of-Towners” “Seems Like Old Times,” “Barefoot in the Park,” and “The Apartment,” I set out to create an engaging story with laugh-a-minute situations and memorable characters. Hopefully it rings a little like Neil Simon’s sparkling dialogue.
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